We went to the Cherry Blossom festival at the Rose Bowl on Saturday and I’m thinking of writing the organizers and suggesting that they change the name to the Parking Lot festival because a) there were zero blossoms because b) it was in a parking lot.

We actually had a fun time despite the lack of cherry blossoms. And street tacos and funnel cake and giant inflatable dragon rides can make up for almost anything. Before leaving, we stopped for the requisite potty break and I brought the Boy with me into the men’s room. The toilets at the Rose Bowl are high-class, made specifically for the drunken sports and concert fan, consisting of little more than a tiled trough on the floor with a drain.

The Boy wasn’t sure what to do so I demonstrated, which is trickier than you might think when you have to coordinate your business with trying to wrangle a toddler who is fascinated with the drain out of your line of fire. “There,” I said. “That’s how you do it.”

He stared incredulously for moment and then frantically unzipped his pants and let fly before I changed my mind and told him he wasn’t allowed to pee on the floor.

Afterwards, as we emerged back into the fresh air and sunlight, he told me, “That was awesome! That place rocks!” He ran to the lovely and talented wife who was waiting for us. “Mom! Mom! That place is awesome!”

Then he claimed he had to go again. If I’d only known earlier that he would like this better than all the rides we paid for. So we went back in. Nothing. He stood there for a few seconds with his pants down. “See,” I said, “I told you there was no more.” The two other men using the trough pretended we didn’t exist.

“I guess so,” he said. He pulled up his pants, walked over to the drain, and leaned over to peer down into it. He looked up at me and whispered, wide-eyed and reverently, “Dad, is that where they keep the pee?” The two men became keenly interested in the shiny, aqua-colored wall tile.

“Yes, son,” I said confidently. “That’s where they keep it. Let’s go.”

Comments

1. Pete on 2006-04-06 19:50:08 wrote: Now I’m going to have to talk the wife into another kid, just so we have a shot at having a boy. I just can’t miss out on stuff like this…classic human comedy. Thanks for the laugh.

2. David on 2006-04-06 22:38:17 wrote: I don’t know about you, but at home there is a lot of pressure to sit… As a result, urinals can become a unique bonding expereince between fathers and sons - a bit like going out to kill your first bear back when we were all living in the woods. Here’s to life, liberty and the right to pee standing up.

3. Trula on 2006-04-07 08:41:19 wrote: As mama to 2 boys, I must say this post cracked me up!

4. SLORocks on 2006-04-11 15:46:07 wrote: I live in San Luis Obispo CA and there is a Hotel here called the Maddona Inn it has a mens bathroom that has a wall of big rocks with a waterfall comming out I took my son when he was about 4 years old. Needless to say he was more than amused that he could pee on the wall of rocks. Then came the day that we were in Solvang Ca, they have a pak out of town with a waterfall the first thing my son asked when he seen the waterfall was for us to go over and pee in it. There was alot of people there and he talks real loud, boy did that place get quiet. All I could do was laugh. thanks for the post it bring back some wonderfull moments.

5. WM on 2006-04-15 17:18:10 wrote: I’m so jealous. My daughter and I will never share this moment. Come to think of it, neither will my son and me. You have a gifted boy. His curiosity will take him very far in life.

6. The Beans Dad on 2006-04-15 21:14:10 wrote: nice, nice. Doing the public-potty thing is going to get tough with the girls. Kinda wish I hadn’t worn my shorts so tight in the ‘90’s. Hate to break it to you and feel free to ignore me but I tagged ya. thebeansdad.blogspot.com