I write because I would be sad if I didn’t. Why anyone reads what I write is beyond me. But I just had a look through the top keywords bringing people to this site over the past month and among them found the following gems.

“Sex." You can get to this site after clicking through every link on the prior 818 million pages. Apparently, I’m a good afterglow read. Go try it. I’ll wait.

“Bathroom tiling." Seriously. I’m no authority but somehow I’m the fourth result. And you thought I was just a pretty face.

“Songs for parents." For a post titled 50 songs for kids and their parents (that aren’t utter crap). I should do a follow up to that one actually. Hopefully the Miley our house has been infected with for the past few months hasn’t ruined me. (I don’t know which is worse: that I’m bothered by all the cuts at the end of Start All Over[1. Why?! So close to a perfect single take!] or that I’m watching Miley Cyrus videos at all. Oh God help me.)

“Charlie Bucket pushing daisies." Yes. For reasons I can’t and probably don’t want to understand, at least 50 people in the world need to know if Charlie Bucket still has the spark of life. That search phrase creeps me out because it can be interpreted as a question or a wish.

Conspicuously absent is my own name which seems strange at first only because I’m on the first page for “John Watson” (I’ll never make it past a Human Resources screen again for as long as I live). But then you realize that the only famous John Watsons were all hopeless nerds (i.e. I’m in good company) and who would be searching for them anyway when there are 818 million pages of sex.

So there you have it. I can’t really make anything of it except to say that people must be seriously concerned with sex and Charlie Bucket if they end up looking for answers here. Oh, and also that “John Watson”, as a search phrase, is no “arsebundle.”

Comments

1. ruthdeb on 2008-05-16 09:46:07 wrote: I read for your Being Daddy stories. “The Sound of Magic” was awesome