She’s seven. We celebrated at the Ice Palace, a skating rink. And there was much rejoicing, cake, and hot chocolate.

And presents. Frankly, I was a little embarrassed by the incredible quantity of gifts I hauled out to the car afterwards. Don’t get me wrong—I am grateful and truly appreciate having friends who care about us and want to give us things. But I also wish for a simpler time when just getting together with your friends with a  little food was enough. Is it possible or wise to ask people not to bring gifts or at least to not bring so many or does that cause more grief than it’s worth?

Comments

1. Thomas on 2007-04-22 14:55:27 wrote: It’s funny how, when you’re a kid, birthdays and winter holidays are about presents and sweets but when you’re an adult they’re about family and friends.

2. Norby on 2007-04-22 15:00:03 wrote: If it matters to you and you’ve talked it over w/ your kids, I’d ask them in advance when you invite them (we generally do). You could ask people to donate to a local cause in your name instead, or to help out with food, perhaps clean up a little, or to just bring themselves guilt-free. To echo Thomas’ sentiment, parties are a good excuse to catch up with the parents who you’re so often too busy to keep up with and without an event that requires your attendence, you’ll never make the time. -//

3. Matthew on 2007-04-22 16:59:02 wrote: I have twins and their second birthday is coming up. We just realized that people might feel obligated to get them BOTH a gift. So, we’re putting on the invites that gifts are optional but if compelled, a nice book to share will suffice.

4. Jeni on 2007-04-22 22:50:32 wrote: Hey this is a great thought. But kids are so keen on receiving gifts, probably they look forward to it as much as the look forward to the party fun. Because at this tender age it is the tangible things that they relate to more than the intangible stuff. It would be a great idea to instill such values in our kids from a tender age.:)

5. are you my rik? on 2007-04-23 06:21:21 wrote: with the way our kids’ grandparents are, they will never suffer from a lack of presents, even if nobody brought anything to their party. we have, in the past, put on the invitations something like “presents are not necessary–your presence is a great enough gift” (corny, i know), especially because we know that we don’t roll in wealthy circles and didn’t want our kids’ friends to feel like they had to break the bank in order to come to the party. some people brought presents, and i think some didn’t, but i honestly couldn’t tell you who did or didn’t…and my kids still had a great time. all in all, i think most families want to bring something to the party–i know my wife starts shopping well in advance of our kids’ friends parties and just thrills when she finds the perfect thing at a bargain–and probably will anyways, so telling them explicitly not to bring something might cause some bad feelings. making it optional always gives them an out if they need it.

6. Bobex on 2007-04-30 22:40:08 wrote: I miss our ice skating rinks. And our drive-ins. Yes, I can take her to any ‘dry’ skating rinks, or install a DVD player in my car. But they’re just not the same [my daughter is almost 2 {the more manly way to say 20 1/2 months (and much more polite to the math-impaired or unsober rest-of-us)}] Growing up in these days will be much different than our own. I can’t yet comprehend how different our Parent’s’, Grandparent’s, and so on, experiences and suroundingss were growing up, compared to how ours were. But it does sadden (where’s the spell check, Bob!!) me greatly that our children will be much more landlocked than we were. One screen theater, ice scating rink with ice, acres upon acres of open almost sovereign play grounds to have huge neigborhood-wide wars, hidden swimming holes, abandoned military boats, abandoned empty rural swimming pools to skate… If you still have any of these, I won’t bother to ask to bethink and appreciate our own youth, but I will ask you to share them with your children while you can. What great memories us parents can provide.

7. Bobex on 2007-04-30 22:43:34 wrote: Oh, and more on-topic, I think we’ll be asking family to donate $5 to a good cause on her behalf, or put $5 into her ING savings account.