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A parenting checklist

Stumbled across a site for making checklists and discovered some lists on parenting. Here’s one: What kids should be able to do on their own (age 6+). Cute but not very practical.

Science has shown that children are non-stop engines of destruction. This is a fact (look it up). Knowing that a child should be able to butter their own bread, while comforting, doesn’t adequately prepare one for the kinds of things children actually know. Like how to punch you right in the nuts and make you believe it was an accident. Twice.

So, without further ado, more practical lists…

What kids should be able to do on their own: a warning

  • Punch you right in the nuts "accidentally"
  • Lie
  • Beg
  • Burn down house
  • Fake illness
  • Overreact
  • Torment sibling
  • Eat last cookie without guilt
  • Selective, instant memory loss
  • Shift blame
And the companion list...

What kids should be able to do on their own (but can’t seem to)

  • Flush toilet
  • Accept "no" for an answer
  • Find anything
  • Eat food outside of the beige family
  • Hear instructions the first time
  • Be nice to siblings when you're not in the same room
  • Realize they need a bath
  • Go to bed
  • Stay in bed
  • For the love of all that is holy and good, please, please get back in bed

Comments

  1. DaveTheWave on 2008-03-06 07:22:30 wrote: Right on… These lists are always fun. I really enjoyed the kick in the nuts line, so accurate.

  2. Chris on 2008-03-06 07:43:57 wrote: OMG. That is so stinking funny! Who are these people and how did they get to know my daughter so well?

  3. Elinesca on 2008-03-06 16:45:42 wrote: You’ve got such amazing insights:)

  4. guynameddave on 2008-03-06 21:19:18 wrote: seriously hilarious.

  5. Allan on 2008-03-07 03:12:05 wrote: Here I am, late to the party. Again. Agree with the lists mostly except that “find anything” should be on both lists and qualified as: “find anything they’re not supposed to” “find anything they’re told to find” Elinesca - the insights are often forcibly imposed on you by the small people who invaded your home. Though I will credit FD with the presence of mind to write them down.

  6. Pat J on 2008-03-12 15:10:27 wrote: You might want to check this post for your iframe vulnerability; there appears to be some kind of German poker spam in the middle of your second list.

  7. John on 2008-03-12 21:11:46 wrote: Yikes. Thanks, Pat. Damn, now I’m spooked.

  8. NextStep on 2008-04-21 09:01:00 wrote: Great post.. what about headbutt to the acorns??! (Or groin for ladies)