• Lots of work on BigHugeLabs.com
• Bought a pet rat ($7) and accoutrements ($92) for the kids.
• Ripped up the weed jungle that my backyard had become and planted Dutch Clover instead of grass. Coming in beautifully. Should control weeds and be virtually maintenance free.
• Two birthday parties. Kids are now 9 and 7.
• Commuting to the library a few days a week to work. This is working out nicely now that the kids are on break. Turns out I’m not allergic to the sun. It is showing up a weakness in my netbook though—the keyboard is fine for browsing the internet but not as good for programming. Probably a new laptop in my future. Probably a MacBook.
• Created another website: ideas.bighugelabs.com
• Restaurant City
• Bought a 13 foot trampoline.
• Cleaned the carburetors on my bike (a 2000 CBR 600 F4, the last model before fuel injection was introduced). It’s the first carb cleaning I’ve ever done but it went really well. I think I could do it again in a under 3 hours. Saved about $350 doing it myself, which is nice.
• Talked to a bunch of sixth graders about my profession. They did not believe I was “the BigHugeLabs guy.”
• Bought a 1 terabyte hard drive for $94. Holy moly.
• Finished two bottles of Scotch.
• Tried doing hundredpushups.com but my shoulder failed me in week 4. Taking it easy until it heals.
• Survived 3 earthquakes.
• Survived taxes.

How’s your summer going?

I update Twitter more frequently than here. Not because I think blogging is dead and Twitter is going to take over. Just because it’s faster to peck out a hundred characters than to write an entire post. So, if you really want to stalk me, for now, that’s the place to do it. ;-)

Every Winter, for the past five or six years, we’ve gone on a whale watching cruise with family and friends on New Year’s day. I used these pills once and I should have used them another time when I didn’t. Some of us spend the day prior with my sister-in-law and her husband and the rest meet us at the pier in the morning. It’s always cold. We see whales 67% of the time. On the first cruise I took some pictures of whales. I haven’t since. In twenty years time I doubt I’ll remember them or the occasional sea sickness. All I think I’ll remember is the love, huddled together in the bow with our backs to the cold, the sea in our noses and on our lips, the lazy throb of the engine carrying us back to shore.

After our cruises we always go to Ruby’s, a 50′s themed diner off the pier. At Ruby’s you can get classic hamburgers, hot soup, fish and chips, and tables for 20 with great service without a reservation.

One New Year’s day, as we were about to leave, we discovered we had a flat tire. I don’t remember the logistics but I do remember waiting a long time for an $18 patch at Sears. Now that I think back on it, I was lucky to be able to get tire service at 4pm on New Year’s Day. I can’t find the name of the mechanic on the work order. I wish I knew his name…

My signature was different in 2006. I don’t know anything about handwriting analysis but, to me, my old signature lacks confidence. Heavy, awkward strokes, deliberate curls and loops. My signature is on the work order in three places and it’s different each time. 2006 was to be another year of transition for me. Several unconnected events, years in the making, were converging toward a new path. I couldn’t predict it but perhaps part of me felt the potential.

The resume is tattered, folded in quarters, stained with dirt and… coffee? The top entry reveals that I was laid off in January of 2005. That was a stressful New Year that turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. I think many people get comfortable in situations that they don’t actually like, trapped by the ease of it, unwilling to face the uncertainty and fear of change even though they claim to desire it. People like me. Being downsized was a brutal catalyst of change that forced me to go through the pain of choosing a better life. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But sometimes, to get someplace better, you have to jump without knowing exactly where you are going to land. 2005 taught me to try to make the most of the opportunity even if I’m shoved instead.

The sunglasses were stylish and overpriced though I think now that they were too small for my head and probably looked out of place on my unfashionably dressed body. They’re completely destroyed now, nearly a decade old. I don’t know why I hung onto them so long. The memory is lost. I vaguely recall a shop in a mall, we were there together, I don’t think we had our first child yet… I had just started or was about to start that job on my resume.

Everything goes into the trash now. It’s time to start a new cycle of memories.

Happy new year.

I hear the front door open. And then, excitedly, “Dad! Dad! We got a package!”

I call back down, “Oh, good! Can you bring it up, please?”

I listen and hear shuffling. The stomping stops about halfway up the stairs giving way to the sound of cardboard sliding around, being readjusted. Must be a relatively big box, I think. Then a quick burst of stomping and he rounds the corner into my office carrying a nondescript medium-sized brown cardboard box. “What is it?” he asks breathlessly. His wide eyes are locked on the box.

“Let’s see. This looks like…” I look at the label. “Yep, it’s a camera.”

He wrinkles his nose. “A camera?”

“Yeah. The people who made it sent it to me so that I could try it out. Then I write about it. And then I send it back.”

He looks at the box. He looks at me. His expression changes from ardent curiosity to what do you mean there are no toys? “Fun, huh?” I suggest.

“No, Dad.” He turns and walks away. “Boring.”

Lovely and Talented Wife: Urrrngh! Blaaaggh!
Me: My hands are cold.
Wife: You’re freezing!
Me: It’s like ripping off a band aid. You’ll get used to it in a second.
Wife: You’re freezing! And you’re an ass!

Wife: So far, I washed the car, ran errands, and picked up The Boy. What did you do today?
Me: Not much. You did a lot this morning, though.
Wife: Oh, you do way more than me.
Me: Pfft! I don’t do anything. You’re the one with three jobs.
Wife: But what you do brings in all the cash. You make most of the money and I spend most of it.
Me: That just makes us a good team. You complete me.

OK, so maybe it’s not exactly a world tour. But they are driving it—all 4,966 miles. Unfortunately, it’s for business but she’s got time off just about every day for sight-seeing.

LATW World Tour 2007

So I’ve been exclusively seeing after the kids. It’s the longest either one of us has ever had to care for them single-handedly. But, honestly, it’s not that big of a deal. They are both at an age where, if I were to disappear this instant, they would survive handily. Which is to say, they know how to feed and clothe themselves and turn on the television. The house is clean, the laundry is done, homework is returned on time… heck, their rooms are even picked up.

One somewhat peculiar thing I’ve noticed is the reaction I get from other people when they find out what my situation is. I’m met with either wide-eyed amazement (usually from men) or skepticism (or some combination of both). I think the LATW and I normally split the household and child-rearing duties about 50%. And that’s by choice and as it should be. It’s the main reason I’ve been working at home these past years (and in fact I took a pretty large pay cut to do it back in 2005).

The thing that irks me a little bit is that, now, I get way more credit than I deserve—like I’m doing something super-human. And before, I now realize, I wasn’t getting any credit at all. Of course, I don’t do it for credit, and I guess it balances out, but it shows you that many folks still have pretty traditional ideas about a man’s role in raising children.

When I was much younger—in high school and college—I never had a vision for myself beyond going to school and then finding a job. That’s what my parents did. That’s what everyone did. Perhaps it was the way I was raised or a lack of imagination. But whatever it was, the thought of being an entrepreneur, being self-employed, never even entered my consciousness. Now that I’ve had ample experience working for others and a helping of self-employment I can say that, so far, being self-employed is better. Much better.

Now, obviously I haven’t worked everywhere, but to go back into an office by choice… Well, it would have to be an amazing place. Google comes to mind although they’re sounding more and more like a cult. The article above mentions all of the things I would consider minimum requirements. But the author also talks about what I consider the most important requirement. In fact, this one may trump all the others: being treated with respect. In a business setting that means employers should set goals and employees should be compensated for achieving them lawfully, ethically and efficiently. Period.

Unfortunately, this is what’s known as living in a fantasy world.

The fact is, as a company grows, it becomes increasingly difficult to measure individual performance. If a one person company succeeds or fails you know who to blame. But who do you blame in a 50 person company or a 30,000 person company? The consequence is that employees aren’t rewarded for results. They can’t be. Instead, employees are paid for putting in hours.

It’s the reason companies have rules for when you are supposed to arrive at and leave from work, when and how long your lunch break is, vacation and sick time, and the requirement to appear perpetually busy even when there is nothing to do (especially when there is nothing to do). It’s why office workers feel guilty when they call in sick and why parents miss little league games. It’s why, despite the fact that you stayed late on Friday to ship your company’s product on time, you can’t take Monday off without getting your boss to sign a permission slip. It’s why employees who don’t slave 80 hours a week aren’t considered “team players.” And it’s why annual performance reviews include a section for attendance and feel like such a farce.

It’s constant, disrespectful supervision.

Regardless of the perks, working for someone else means being treated, to varying degrees, like a child. Sure, I could see myself working in an office again. But only if I’m treated like an adult and fairly compensated for the value I create for the company. That employer will have to realize that respect is more important than a good parking space, free lunches and an on-site gym.

But the internet… it feels like the whole thing goes into slow motion on Fridays. Activity on social sites like Flickr slows down. Blogs get fewer comments. There’s less news.

I don’t really have a point. I guess I’m just saying, “My day? It’s been quiet.”

So, way back in August, I hinted that something big was going on at the fd house. Well, It’s been a very, extremely busy few months (has it only been three months?) but I’m in a much better position now to share what has been going on. Back in August, I quit my full-time, steady-pay, benefit-laden job to start a company with two friends. It is our second company together, actually. The first one, christianaudio.com, is doing very well. But we wanted to do something completely different; to diversify our portfolio, so to speak.

What’s the company? I can’t really talk about it yet. In a couple of weeks I’ll have a lot more to share. If you follow these sorts of things, hopefully you’ll be hearing about us. But even if you don’t, I think that many people who use Flickr will find the idea is really cool. And one of my partners is a bona fide rock star (so we’ve got that going for us).

I’ve already said too much. ;-)

On a personal note, trading up from “employee” to “self-employed” has been been one of the best things I’ve ever done. I’m working more now. But since I’m not bound to the 9-5 rhythms of an office, my time is much more flexible and I find that I have a lot more of it to spend with my family. I eat breakfast with my kids every morning instead of sitting in traffic. I’m taking Tuesday and Thursday afternoons off to take my son to soccer practice (where I’ve been roped into assistant coaching) without any of the guilt that used to be associated with it. I’ve traded in afternoon staff meetings for helping my daughter with her homework. Thursday afternoon she and I grabbed a milkshake after I picked her up from school.

In short, it’s wonderful. For the first time ever, I finally feel like I’m steering instead of just pedaling as hard as I can.

I’m starting to brag and I don’t mean to so I’m going to stop now. I just wanted to explain what I mentioned back in August and my relative absence from Flickr over the past couple of months. In a month or so, some of this activity should die down a little (I’m not asking much, just to dial it back from 11), and I can actually get out with my camera a little more. In the meantime, I apologize for not visiting your streams or commenting as much as I’d like. I hope you understand.

Funny that I make my first (and last) post about my job only after I lose it. It was not unexpected. I haven’t formed a clear picture of the true reasons behind it all yet (and I probably never will, completely).

That’s okay.

Hmm… I thought I would have more to say about it.

I can’t help thinking that the timing is impeccable. I’ve been looking for a way to spend more time with the kids. If I believed in God, I’d say he was sending me a message. But the opportunities were always there. I just didn’t see them because I was too comfortable where I was. Maybe this is the catalyst I needed to force me to improve my work/home balance.

I picked up my things today. It’s somewhat astonishing that the physical detritus of an activity that consumed such a large portion of my time (approximately 10,000 hours of the past 43,800 or about 22% of the past 5 years) fits in just a few cardboard boxes. If you figure in sleep (about another 11,000 hours/5 years, for me) then I spent about 30% of my waking life at work. That only left 70% of my time (32,800 hours in the past 5 years) for my family.

All told, It could’ve been worse. But it could be a little better too, I think. Anyway, to my former life, “So long, and thanks for all the fish.”