flagrantdisregard » wife http://flagrantdisregard.com Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:47:07 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Late lunch http://flagrantdisregard.com/late-lunch/ http://flagrantdisregard.com/late-lunch/#comments Thu, 31 Dec 2009 00:23:04 +0000 John http://flagrantdisregard.com/?p=2033

Me: Are we seriously going out to dinner at 4pm?
Wife: It’s a late lunch.
Me: Whatever, Grandma.

The kids are off visiting with relatives and this is what becomes of us. Roll out of bed at 11 and lunch at 4.

]]> http://flagrantdisregard.com/late-lunch/feed/ 1 I just want to be ok http://flagrantdisregard.com/be-ok/ http://flagrantdisregard.com/be-ok/#comments Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:59:06 +0000 flickr http://flagrantdisregard.com/1696/

]]> http://flagrantdisregard.com/be-ok/feed/ 0 Sleeping for free http://flagrantdisregard.com/sleeping-for-free/ http://flagrantdisregard.com/sleeping-for-free/#comments Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:47:38 +0000 John http://flagrantdisregard.com/?p=1664

Lovely and Talented Wife: I’m freezing.

Me: Put on a sweater.

Wife: I slept in socks, flannels, a tank top, a thermal shirt and five blankets and I was still cold.

Me: You slept so well because I have the thermostat set low.

Wife: No, I did not sleep well. I was still cold. Wait, what’s it set to?

Me: At 10pm it goes into Hibernation Stage 2.

Wife: And what does that mean?

Me: 60 degrees. Just make sure you’re asleep before 10 because then the temp drops precipitously. Didn’t you notice the heater isn’t coming on at night? We’re sleeping for free!

Wife: Yes I noticed! I was freezing!

Me: The cold helps you sleep by shutting down non-vital bodily functions.

Wife: Being in a coma is not restful.

]]> http://flagrantdisregard.com/sleeping-for-free/feed/ 1 Apparently I am not at my most dashing in the early AM http://flagrantdisregard.com/ungorgeous/ http://flagrantdisregard.com/ungorgeous/#comments Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:18:31 +0000 John http://flagrantdisregard.com/?p=1676

Wife: Please shave today.

Me: I guess it’s been a while. At least I’m still gorgeous.

Wife: …

Me: Well, I mean I haven’t looked in the mirror yet today. But can’t I just take my word for it?

]]> http://flagrantdisregard.com/ungorgeous/feed/ 0 Happy ninja day! http://flagrantdisregard.com/happy-ninja-day/ http://flagrantdisregard.com/happy-ninja-day/#comments Fri, 05 Dec 2008 17:13:10 +0000 John http://flagrantdisregard.com/?p=1611 Texting the lovely and talented wife this morning…

Me: It’s day of the ninja. Be stealthy and kill at least four people today.

Wife: You are so random.

Me: I’m so ninja I killed three people so far today and they don’t even know it.

Wife: I’m so ninja *I* don’t even know it.

Me: You know how I know you’re a ninja? I— *dies* 8-#

Wife: Your advanced texting skills impress me.

]]> http://flagrantdisregard.com/happy-ninja-day/feed/ 2 Shopping shenanigans http://flagrantdisregard.com/shopping-shenanigans/ http://flagrantdisregard.com/shopping-shenanigans/#comments Wed, 23 Jul 2008 23:02:44 +0000 John http://flagrantdisregard.com/?p=1441 Scene: Grocery store cereal aisle

Me: Did you get my cereal?
Wife: There is no such thing as “Barb’s Wheat Squares.”
Me: Hm. Wait, here they are.
Wife: Those? Are those wheat?
Me: Uh, multigrain?
Wife: Are they squares?
Me: Technically, they’re hexagons.
Wife: Are they called Barb’s Wheat Squares?
Me: Um, no. They’re called Barbara’s Shredded Spoonfuls.
Wife: Uh huh.
Me: Right. Well, I’ll just…
Wife: Put those back. I knew what you meant.

]]> http://flagrantdisregard.com/shopping-shenanigans/feed/ 6 A working condition that can lead to illness or death http://flagrantdisregard.com/occupational-hazards/ http://flagrantdisregard.com/occupational-hazards/#comments Thu, 19 Jun 2008 00:41:57 +0000 John http://flagrantdisregard.com/?p=996 One of the occupational hazards of being a geeky self-employed entrepreneur who runs his own servers is that I am my own IT department. And that means sometimes I am awakened early in the morning by an urgent message from one of my servers. And after it’s fixed I often crawl back into bed. And it turns out that is also an occupational hazard of being the spouse of a geeky self-employed entrepreneur…

Lovely and Talented Wife: Urrrngh! Blaaaggh!
Me: My hands are cold.
Wife: You’re freezing!
Me: It’s like ripping off a band aid. You’ll get used to it in a second.
Wife: You’re freezing! And you’re an ass!

]]> http://flagrantdisregard.com/occupational-hazards/feed/ 2 Not that I needed more proof that we’re perfect for each other even setting aside the fact that we have the same taste in children http://flagrantdisregard.com/dr-who-momen/ http://flagrantdisregard.com/dr-who-momen/#comments Sat, 19 Apr 2008 22:44:00 +0000 John http://flagrantdisregard.com/?p=967

Me: So, do you like the new Doctor better than the old one?
Lovely and Talented Wife: Well…
Me: I know, it’s tough, huh? I think they’re both really good Doctors.
Wife: They’re both excellent actors.
Me: But the current Doctor. I can tell he’s grown on you.
Wife, nodding: Yah. He made a little TARDIS in my heart.
Me: I love you so much.

The Christmas episode (season premiere) aired last night in the U.S. Another great beginning. Dr. Who is superb, intelligent, fun television.

]]> http://flagrantdisregard.com/dr-who-momen/feed/ 0 Lovely and talented feet http://flagrantdisregard.com/lovely-and-talented-feet/ http://flagrantdisregard.com/lovely-and-talented-feet/#comments Thu, 10 Apr 2008 02:32:48 +0000 flickr http://flagrantdisregard.com/lovely-and-talented-feet/ Comfort

]]> http://flagrantdisregard.com/lovely-and-talented-feet/feed/ 3 In which I do not LOL http://flagrantdisregard.com/in-which-i-do-not-lol/ http://flagrantdisregard.com/in-which-i-do-not-lol/#comments Sat, 05 Apr 2008 04:30:04 +0000 John http://flagrantdisregard.com/?p=955

Lovely and Talented Wife: So I texted that thing to her and she texted back “LMAO.”
Me: She didn’t though.
Wife: LMAO?
Me: Yah, her ass is still on.
Wife: What…?
Me: People read something funny and then maybe they snort or chuckle or even chortle and then write LOL or LMAO. They rarely mean it. It’s sad really because it’s devalued the whole meaning of the word. That’s why I refuse to type it. Even if I was LOL I wouldn’t write LOL because no one would really believe I was LOL. LOL isn’t what it used to be.
Wife: Oh my God.
Me: What?
Wife: You’re still talking.

]]> http://flagrantdisregard.com/in-which-i-do-not-lol/feed/ 10