flagrantdisregard » school

Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated

John — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:16:13 +0000

Not dead. Busy. And I sort of fell out of the habit. So, here’s what I’ve been up to since April:

Lots of work on BigHugeLabs.com
Bought a pet rat ($7) and accoutrements ($92) for the kids.
Ripped up the weed jungle that my backyard had become and planted Dutch Clover instead of grass. Coming in beautifully. Should control weeds and be virtually maintenance free.
Two birthday parties. Kids are now 9 and 7.
Commuting to the library a few days a week to work. This is working out nicely now that the kids are on break. Turns out I’m not allergic to the sun. It is showing up a weakness in my netbook though—the keyboard is fine for browsing the internet but not as good for programming. Probably a new laptop in my future. Probably a MacBook.
Created another website: ideas.bighugelabs.com
Restaurant City
Bought a 13 foot trampoline.
Cleaned the carburetors on my bike (a 2000 CBR 600 F4, the last model before fuel injection was introduced). It’s the first carb cleaning I’ve ever done but it went really well. I think I could do it again in a under 3 hours. Saved about $350 doing it myself, which is nice.
Talked to a bunch of sixth graders about my profession. They did not believe I was “the BigHugeLabs guy.”
Bought a 1 terabyte hard drive for $94. Holy moly.
Finished two bottles of Scotch.
Tried doing hundredpushups.com but my shoulder failed me in week 4. Taking it easy until it heals.
Survived 3 earthquakes.
Survived taxes.

How’s your summer going?

I update Twitter more frequently than here. Not because I think blogging is dead and Twitter is going to take over. Just because it’s faster to peck out a hundred characters than to write an entire post. So, if you really want to stalk me, for now, that’s the place to do it. ;-)

Chickens are not pretzel-shaped in nature

John — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 18:09:48 +0000

Son: Dad, what day is it?

Me: 16.

Son: Mmm… chicken pretzels. I’m buying lunch!

Daughter: Oh yah! I’m buying, too!

Me: Seriously? Chicken pretzels? Isn’t that gross?

Daughter: Dad, it’s just chicken in the shape of a pretzel.

Me: Yes, that’s exactly my point.

One of those days

John — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 06:10:41 +0000

You know those days when you don’t get enough sleep and it’s Tuesday or Wednesday or some other day not a weekend and you wake up late and you have to rush the kids through breakfast and getting dressed and they seem just a little grumpier than usual and you really don’t want them to buy lunch that day in the cafeteria because who the hell knows what a “chicken pretzel” is but there just isn’t time to pack anything and the orange juice has spilled.

And then you drive them to school and rush them to class and one of them forgot their homework folder so you drive home and drive back again and drive home again and then you work all day and do laundry and fold and put away and go to the bank and buy groceries and suddenly it’s time to pick the kids up from school.

So you drive to school and drive home and then you’re doing math homework and you thought you would never have to do math homework ever again but there you are doing math homework and then you’re taking one to dance class and one to martial arts and picking them up again and making dinner and washing dishes and wiping tables and sweeping the floor and finally, finally you send the kids upstairs to play or watch television or anything really as long as it is far away.

And you put the kettle on. And for three minutes everything is done. And everything is still. And the only sound is the purr of boiling water about to become after-dinner coffee.

And you find that spot in the corner, that spot by the cupboard where you hang the aprons, where the stool is, and you collapse on the stool, and wait for the water to boil. And breathe in and out. And it’s the most wonderful place in the world, that spot. For three minutes.

And just as the coffee is poured into your mug and the sweet satisfying aroma fills your nostrils… crying and arguing and no one wants to take the first shower and he pushed me and no one can find the toothpaste and where’s the toothpaste and what happened to the god damned toothpaste?

Not every day is like that, thank goodness. But weirdly, it’s worth it.

Brain chart

John — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:10:05 +0000

The kids have a behavior chart in their classrooms and each of them has a clip with their name on it. They “clip up” for good behavior and “clip down” when they get into trouble…

Me: So, how was school today? Did you clip up?

Son: No, I clipped down… But! But, Dad! Clipping down is good today.

Me: Are you sure? I thought clipping down was bad. What did you do?

Son: I forgot.

Daughter: I clipped up today!

Son: Dad, clipping up in her class is bad!

Me: I don’t know about that…

Son: But, Dad! Um, in in my teacher’s mind? In her brain? I clipped up on her brain chart!

I almost wrecked the car trying to keep a straight face.

Open house night

John — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:01:17 +0000

We attended our school’s open house again last night. I always get a kick out of the projects posted on the walls. One of the projects was a “Meet My Parents: Through a child’s eyes” page the kindergartners wrote. Some classic stuff.

Flattery will get you everywhere, kids:

My Mom is 20 feet tall and weighs 8 pounds.

What’s the one thing that grosses you out about your parents:

My Mom likes to eat: vegetables

An insightful summation of the state of teacher compensation in California:

My Mom’s job is: being a teacher
My Dad’s job is: to make money

Finally, what my son thinks we do:

My Mom’s job is: working
My Dad’s job is: staying home and taking pictures

The long cruel holiday break is over… School starts Monday!

flickr — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 05:24:12 +0000

5 dangerous things you should let your kids do

John — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 21:31:10 +0000

Gever Tulley, founder of the Tinkering School, talks about our new wave of overprotected kids — and spells out 5 (and really, he’s got 6) dangerous things you should let your kids do. Allowing kids the freedom to explore, he says, will make them stronger and smarter and actually safer. TED Talks: Gever Tulley: 5 dangerous things you should let your kids do

I married a genius

John — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 17:40:23 +0000

The Lovely and Talented Wife, who volunteers at our elementary school, recently convinced a kindergartner to do something he didn’t want to do by offering him the next two days off from school. Guess what day it was.

School can’t possibly start soon enough

John — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 23:31:45 +0000

School is tantalizingly close. It starts five days from now. It’s been a long Summer and the kids are both well into the tail-end boredom phase of it. For full effect, imagine their mouths gaping open like a trophy bass gasping for air while their eyes bulge out of their heads:

Daughter: Dad, can we watch TV now?
Me: No.
[Here. The trophy bass thing.]
Daughter: But there’s nothing to do!
Me: There’s plenty to do. You can read a book, build a fort, go play outside, turn on the Slip and Slide, ride your bike, go swimming…
Daughter: I don’t want to do any of those things.
Me: Sadly, that’s not really my problem.
Son: We can’t go swimming. We don’t have a pool.
Me: I meant in the Slip and Slide. You can play in the water.
Son: But that’s not swimming.
Daughter: When can we watch TV?
Me: In an hour. Until then, no computer, no TV.
Daughter: But, Dad!
Me: Look guys, I’m working.
Daughter & Son: But…
Me: You two need to go play someplace else. You need to go right now.

This was my first Summer working from home and today is one of those difficult days. At the moment I’m on the fence, but if you asked me in a couple of hours (after a beer or two) I’m sure I’d say it was worth it. The Lovely and Talented Wife isn’t here today (or yesterday) because she’s preparing for a tour. Did I mention she’ll be away for most of September? Yep, just me and the kids for 25 days. I’ll probably write something about that soon.