flagrantdisregard » babies

I’m suspicious of anyone with three or more children. O, that way madness lies.

John — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:29:34 +0000

AdventureDad recently wrote about his four-year-old boy’s request for a younger brother. He asks, “Is it foolish listening to the views and desires of a four-year-old boy?”

Here’s my take: four-year-olds are idiots.

I’m all for whimsy and devil-may-care attitudes. I whole-heartedly endorse and encourage the crazy antics of children. Why, as recently as yesterday I was seen skiing down our street on two scooters with a pirate sword in my back pocket while I whipped my kids into a frenzy to push me faster… FAAASTERRR!

But you won’t catch me asking anyone under 30 for stock picks let alone taking their advice on creating whole new people.

At least four-year-olds are sincere. When they hit six, deviousness goes to a Whole. Nother. Level. The Girl has asked for a new sibling. But I know she only sees us as a means to create a clone army that will call her their queen.

Possibly some of the worst marketing I’ve seen

John — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 08:40:03 +0000

There was a time when I would have paid good money for a device that made kids become thoughtful and quiet when you pressed a smiley face button and zapped their brains with red laser beams. That’d be worth the money for sure.

It’s an ad for a $100 no-touch thermometer. I’m not sure why this is supposed to be better than any normal infrared thermometer that costs half as much.

It’s Italian. Maybe laser lobotomy is the “in thing” these days in Italy. I wonder if it works on seven year old girls.

The best part about the press release I received was the claim that “it will make parenting a delight!” I’ve got news for you, you baby zapping maniacs: I love my kids and I love being a dad but no thermometer in the world is going to make me suddenly think that parenting is some garden paradise.

Anticipating Awful Babies

John — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 16:53:42 +0000

I just noticed the tag cloud over there on the sidebar (it shows the topics that have been written about here in alphabetical order) lists as the first three topics: Anticpating, Awful, Babies. That’d be a whole other blog. Anticpatingawfulbabies.com is available, if you’re so inclined. :-)

Dignity and childbirth

John — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 17:54:36 +0000

Two related items for your amusement and delight on a Friday afternoon. A pregnant-mommy-in-labor-robot to teach doctors how to deliver babies. And a comic about birth and dignity by xkcd. Enjoy.

Mommy the Automaton: New Interactive Simulators Teach Labor and Birth

Dignified – xkcd

She’s a Fake!

John — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 19:00:32 +0000

Happy belated, Sonnet (world’s cutest Fake baby).