Stumbled across a site for making checklists and discovered some lists on parenting. Here’s one: What kids should be able to do on their own (age 6+). Cute but not very practical.

Science has shown that children are non-stop engines of destruction. This is a fact (look it up). Knowing that a child should be able to butter their own bread, while comforting, doesn’t adequately prepare one for the kinds of things children actually know. Like how to punch you right in the nuts and make you believe it was an accident. Twice.

So, without further ado, more practical lists…

What kids should be able to do on their own: a warning

• Punch you right in the nuts “accidentally”
• Lie
• Beg
• Burn down house
• Fake illness
• Overreact
• Torment sibling
• Eat last cookie without guilt
• Selective, instant memory loss
• Shift blame

And the companion list…

What kids should be able to do on their own (but can’t seem to)

• Flush toilet
• Accept “no” for an answer
• Find anything
• Eat food outside of the beige family
• Hear instructions the first time
• Be nice to siblings when you’re not in the same room
• Realize they need a bath
• Go to bed
• Stay in bed
• For the love of all that is holy and good, please, please get back in bed