I brought the kids with me on a quick trip to the grocery store. Just to buy some coffee and milk. And as we were walking back through the produce section to the checkout I spotted a large crate of fresh cucumbers. Cucumbers are one of the few vegetables that the kids will eat so I stopped and asked them both to pick one. My daughter chose one and put it in the bag. Then my boy picked one up, and in his way-louder-than-necessary-but-normal toddler voice said, “Dad, this cucumber is hard. Like Larry.”

Good. Lord. Larry is the cucumber from the animated VeggieTales movies, in case you didn’t know. Not some “weird” uncle like some of the other shoppers were thinking.

“Put it in the bag, son.”

We got out of there before Child Protective Services showed up.