On Soup Plantation (again):

Me: Want to go out for dinner tonight?
Wife: Sure. Where to?
Me: Well, it’s Kids’ Eat Free Night everywhere so the sky’s the limit! Ha! Ruby’s, Polly’s, Chick-fil-A… Oh, we have that Soup Plantation coupon.
Wife: Soup Plantation, huh?
Me: Let’s not go there though. That place stresses me out.
Wife: What?
Me: That whole place is a giant line.
Wife: It is not a giant line.
Me: It is a giant line. From the minute you walk in until the minute you leave, you’re in line.
Wife: There’s a dining room. You sit.
Me: Their “dining room” is just a line you sit in while unhappy people with large plates of buffet-quality lettuce queue behind you. You can feel their eyes carving into you like so much roasted turkey, rage beginning to boil over in their hearts because what they really want is a juicy, medium-rare steak and some peace but what they have is chaos and bean sprouts.
Wife: Huh. You know, you might be totally insane.
Me: Yah, but Soup Plantation is out.