Wife: So far, I washed the car, ran errands, and picked up The Boy. What did you do today? Me: Not much. You did a lot this morning, though. Wife: Oh, you do way more than me. Me: Pfft! I don’t do anything. You’re the one with three jobs. Wife: But what you do brings [...]

My Mario Kart Wii game disc stopped working last Saturday. After inspecting it I found several tell-tale scratches and dents in it. As if it had been put face down on a gritty surface and someone dropped a ton of bricks on it. So I called up Nintendo and told them what happened and they [...]

Me: My new guiding principle is What Would Liz Lemon Do. WWLLD. Wife: And, what, do the opposite? Me: No, no. It’s actually a big time saver. For example, I was about to get a bowl of ice cream and I thought, WWLLD, and I ate it straight from the carton instead. Wife: That’s idiotic. [...]

Daughter: Dad! Dad! I had a dream! And I could see what was going to happen in the future! And it was real! Me: Whoa. Daughter: Dad! Am I a sidekick? Me: Hm. Try this: “Holy divination, Batman!” Daughter: Holy divination, Batman! Me: Yep, you’re a sidekick. But I don’t think you’re psychic. Daughter: Huh? [...]

Daughter: Do you know the S-word? Son: Yeah. Daughter: What is it then? Son: “Stupid.” And I know the M-word: “moron.” Daughter: Everybody knows those words. Son: What other letter words are there? Daughter: I don’t know. Son: Let’s make our own letter words! Daughter: Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea.

I write because I would be sad if I didn’t. Why anyone reads what I write is beyond me. But I just had a look through the top keywords bringing people to this site over the past month and among them found the following gems. “Sex.” You can get to this site after clicking through [...]

So, that app I wrote, Writer (“The Internet Typewriter”), was published today by the CNET staff at Download.com. Very cool. I’m now one step closer to taking over the world: Create awesome web app. Get published at Download.com. ? Profit! If only I could figure out step three.

The kids are in bed. The Girl is having trouble sleeping. The neighbor’s dog is barking beneath her window. She’s reading and drawing with the light on. I’ll check on her in a few minutes and tuck her in and slide the paper out from under her arm and admire her drawings and put her [...]

Cute. An unchallenging story that progresses predictably (but intentionally) just like a children’s fairy tale book. For adults, Jodie Foster was the true star of this movie, playing an agoraphobic and comic Indiana Jones who comes to the rescue of Nim (Abigail Breslin). Dramatic and exciting for young children without being scary. It’s fun to [...]

If you’ve been noticing an increase in the number of smudgy fingerprints on your computer screen, it may be because your young children are spending more time online. With new services coming from companies like Lego and Disney that are aimed right at them, it might be wise to keep some glass cleaner nearby. — [...]