flagrantdisregard

Archive for November, 2005

Seeking Holy Cow at the local mega-store  

Scene: in the cleaning aisle of the local mega-store. For those of you who might not know, in America, the phrase “holy cow” is an expression meaning “wow” or “amazing.”

Daughter: What are we doing here?
Wife: We’re looking for cleaner.
Daughter: What kind?
Wife: Holy Cow.
Daughter: I’ll help, Mommy. What’s it called?
Wife: It’s called Holy Cow.
Pause.
Daughter, [...]

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World of Warcraft as sparkling dinner conversation  

A few nights ago we were out to dinner and we sat at a table across from a young couple who appeared to be on a date. It’s been over a decade since I’ve engaged in a mealtime courtship ritual. What do the kids talk about these days? In between wiping my [...]

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The best part of Halloween…  

Daughter: Dad, I brought you some candy.
Me: Ooo, sour candy and peanut butter candy. Thanks, sweetheart! Don’t you like peanut butter?
Daughter: Yuck, no.
Me: I like sour candy, too. But you don’t, do you?
Daughter: No. You don’t like hot peppers, do you?
Me: Actually, I do like hot peppers.
Daughter: Ugh!
We eat some candy.
Me: [...]

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Mass production of the letter B  

The Girl was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework today. She had to write out a page of B’s, capitals and lowercase. About halfway through the page she switched from writing each one individually to an assembly line approach: first she drew all of the vertical lines for each B and then [...]

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