Daughter: Can I watch cartoons? Me: Not right now, I’m watching something. Daughter: The news? Borrriiing. The news only shows dying.

To everyone with A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving in their Netflix queue with Availability showing “Long Wait”. It’s my fault. I won’t be sending it back until Friday. Sorry. But it’ll be on ABC Thursday night. I’ve also got A Charlie Brown Christmas. I know. I suck.

Have I mentioned before that my lovely and talented wife is the arty type? Theater? Fashion? Dancer? First reactions are usually that there isn’t much in common between a person who likes those things and a person like me who enjoys programming computers. But that’s usually because people who have that reaction don’t know much [...]

The kids were playing outside yesterday afternoon while I was working in my office upstairs. Through the open window that looks over our front yard I heard them start yelling, “Stranger! Stranger!” followed by the sound of little feet stomping up the stairs. Our “stranger training” obviously worked. I went outside with them and had [...]

Me: Did you have fun playing outside? Daughter: Ye… No! Me: No? You didn’t have fun riding your bike? Daughter: Yeah, but the other kids cheated when we played dinosaurs. Me: Oh? Daughter: Yeah, they’re cheaters. They wouldn’t play right. Me: Well, you’ll have to deal with cheaters your whole life. A short speech about [...]

Scene: in the cleaning aisle of the local mega-store. For those of you who might not know, in America, the phrase “holy cow” is an expression meaning “wow” or “amazing.” Daughter: What are we doing here? Wife: We’re looking for cleaner. Daughter: What kind? Wife: Holy Cow. Daughter: I’ll help, Mommy. What’s it called? Wife: [...]

A few nights ago we were out to dinner and we sat at a table across from a young couple who appeared to be on a date. It’s been over a decade since I’ve engaged in a mealtime courtship ritual. What do the kids talk about these days? In between wiping my kids’ faces and [...]

Daughter: Dad, I brought you some candy. Me: Ooo, sour candy and peanut butter candy. Thanks, sweetheart! Don’t you like peanut butter? Daughter: Yuck, no. Me: I like sour candy, too. But you don’t, do you? Daughter: No. You don’t like hot peppers, do you? Me: Actually, I do like hot peppers. Daughter: Ugh! We [...]

The Girl was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework today. She had to write out a page of B’s, capitals and lowercase. About halfway through the page she switched from writing each one individually to an assembly line approach: first she drew all of the vertical lines for each B and then came back [...]